I recently read
What I've Learned as a Writer by Leon Babauta. Internet Confession Time: I'm a writer. Consequently, most of Babauta's items elicited lightly applied face-palms accompanied by several sarcastic "D'uh's." I already KNOW that Writers read, write, establish routines, etc. However, one of Babauta's suggestion did jump up and poke me in the eyes, Three-Stooges style. "Create a blog." Ahhh, the seductive lure of the Internet temptress, The Blog. In actuality, I've already accepted that Writers should keep blogs. Over the years I've started, and abandoned, many. Every year or so I suffer an urge to blog - to get my words out there or to forge a presence that will bully me into writing more often. Sometimes, I even feel guilted into blogging, knowing I can't be "A Writer" without one. So, I'll create one and get momentarily inspired and giddy as I ponder cutesy names and what the best platform may be. I upload a few pictures, post a few entries, and within months, I abandon it like that ill-advised perennial "Give up Vodka" New Year's Resolution. And, the muses only know, perhaps this very endeavor will become the next faded link in my daisy-chain of beautifully failed and abandoned blogs. But until that day, I will take Babauta's experience-laden advice.
I suppose you've met several people in your lifetime answering your query of "What do you do?" with "I am 'A Writer'" "Writers" fill the world like unfettered rats in the subway tunnel. When I meet these self-assured folks, this very proclamation of being "A Writer" makes me wilt, makes me ashamed. I have earned money writing. I spent six years writing for the business world. I should be able to count myself amongst those "Writers!" But I don't write. Yet, it's evident that it is this very act of committing the act of writing
often that solely qualifies one as "A writer." And
I don't. Holy Hell, why must we be so complex and paradoxical? But, if keeping a blog will make me a legit "Writer," so be it.
I have high hopes of cultivating some interesting reads and writing often on this here blog. In fact, on this journey of becoming a more dedicated, verifiable writer, I've recently taken up
Morning Pages as well. Morning Pages sure have bolstered my Writer's confidence because I made a goal, curated a routine and a habit, and I'm now breezily writing every day. BUT...this blog exercise is definitely leveling up. Writing privately is child's play. Knowing that no one will ever read those words makes it less like "writing" and more like journaling. Easy Peasy. The floodgates open when I know no eyes will intrude upon my words, judge my thoughts, my craftsmanship or my effort. Also, if those words aren't "out there," they are impossible to compare to the words of a "Real Writer-" and comparison is an aspiring writer's worst foe. (In fact, comparison should be EVERYBODY's arch foe. It's the worst, people!!) All this doubt and insecurity is another huge obstacle in anyone becoming "A Real Writer." It's well-known that writers flounder in tempests of doubt, insecurity and negative thinking. These blasted feels are ugly ones to face, so - brilliant idea here - if I procrastinate and never actually write, I don't need to face 'em!
Bwaa haaa haaa! This logic, of course, tosses me cleanly back into the "
Not a Real Writer" corral. As such, I need a higher power breathing down my neck, forcing me to battle these writer demons and just write, dammit. I'm a people pleaser and I love gold stars, so if the Internet acts as my boss, I'll trudge through insecurity and doubt - hell even the the Bog of Eternal Stench - so I can get it done and get that gold star! (BTW, any other people-pleasers terrified of getting fired? Cause I am. Like All. The. Time. For years on end.)
As a programming note, I don't know what the focus of this blog will be - or if there will ever be a focus. Writers write what they know. Every "How to be a Freelancer!" article states to write your specialty - what you know. Problem is, I'm more of a Renaissance Woman than a specialist. I will soak up and luxuriate in information on ANY inane topic the universe has to offer. Jack of All Trades and Master of None, and all. So, I warn the Internet, these first few posts will be...rough and aimless until I start hewing this stone and finding a form. But, I do imagine I'll eventually tackle topics including: movie reviews, product reviews, Halloween, tattoos, gardening, history, reenactment, cats, gothy stuff, and the classics.
So, away we go! Here's to putting myself out there in hopes to form and ingrain another habit - easily creating published words! A crafty step in my nefarious quest to publish a work of fiction! And, jumpin' jeebus, writing good fiction is really hard too!! But, without hard work, there are no "Writers." Once Upon A Midnight Cheery, I dedicate you as a
half-assed full-assed tool to legitimize my feeble claim at dinner parties and first day of classes that, I am, in fact, "A Writer."
